Facebook is a Romance Killer!

As this awesomely hilarious video (above) shows us, Facebook and other social networking sites takes the beautiful and alluding concept of destiny, mystery, and romance and slaps it in the face like a carni.

Sure, Facebook is great for finding old friends from high school and rubbing your success in their digital faces through that wicked picture of you and your 1,000-foot yacht off the coast of St. Bart’s. It’s super convenient to be able to cyber-stalk your ex-boyfriend, along with his new girlfriend (or whoever that girl is in his new profile picture…) via the internet and Google.

However, when it comes to romance and love, Facebook isn’t the greatest outlet for stirring up the fiery embers of the heart.

Instead, here are some rules and appropriate exceptions to kindling passion, without the usage of a wireless connection…

Flowers

Rule: Ladies love the flowers! Whether you bring them to her work, or send her flowers at home, do not use Google and/or the White Pages online to get her contact information! Instead, use God’s gift of listening to find out where she works. Be careful. Don’t show up unannounced or unexpectedly. This is creepy. Instead, meet her for lunch and bring a bouquet with you. This is normal. We’ll talk more about creepy vs. normal in a later series.

Exception: If she posts something like “I love Daisies” as her Facebook status, fine. If she happened to be carrying a bouquet of daisies in her profile picture from March, 2007, not fine.

Music/Movie/TV Interests

Rule: Don’t come to the first date already knowing his “interests”. He won’t be impressed that you spent the greater part of the day sifting through his profile, looking for hidden clues about his life. Just because you went through all that  trouble memorizing all of his “quotes” doesn’t mean he’s going to ask you out again. In fact, he’s probably blocking your number from his cell phone plan.

Exception: There is no exception to this rule. Just don’t do it.

Family and Friends

Rule: Meeting the family, or even the friends, is always an exciting time in the relationship. It means that things are moving forward and getting more serious. If you haven’t been introduced in person, do not ask to be “Friends” with her significant others. In fact, it’s probably a good idea not to ask anyone to be your “Friend”, unless you’ve met them in real life.

Exception: If they ask to be your “Friend”, go for it, but be careful. It might be a ploy to get information out of you via your profile.

Just Don’t Do It…

Stay away from the following:

  • Using a pick-up line in either a private message or on someone’s “Wall”
  • Posting semi-nude pictures of yourself on your interest’s “Wall”. Not only is this public to every one of his friends, it’s super trashy. Please, stay classy…e-mail it to him!
  • Searching for her phone number on her profile and using it to ask her out on a date. While you did refrain from asking her out online, you managed to creep her out since she never gave it to you in the first place. Man up and just ask for her number, in person… *Ladies, don’t post your phone number on Facebook!*
  • Utilizing the “Poking” button as a means of  flirting. It’s definitely not the same and after a while it gets annoying.
  • Changing your profile picture to you with that hot guy from last year’s Halloween party, in hopes of making him jealous. That’s just sad.
  • Proposing via Status Update

Whether you’re catching up with old College buddies or networking with coworkers, Facebook can be great, but, please leave the romance to the professionals who have the decency to do it right…in person!

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